Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

eduardo-de-fuentes-ceballos_every-cloud-has-a-silver-lining

Unlike around my last ‘life’ post, things have been somewhat serene lately. The big life changes I mentioned there haven’t happened, and may not even do, because at the last moment things, as they often and uncontrollably tend to, changed, and so I find myself still here in Toronto feeling a lot more relaxed and content than before.

Despite being a little dreadful of stirring the (feelings) pot, I’ve been trying to reflect about why I now feel better, after all, my life is still in a who knows what’s going to happen limbo, basically, has been for over a year now. After some consideration, I know why such relaxation has settled in now, and funny enough, a friend helped me figure it out, unknowingly.

We were having sangría at a good friend’s place (I keep telling master wine mixer Sarah she should sell that stuff because she really knows how to make a good sangría), in what supposedly was a go-away party for me. We were just a small group and, as could be expected, the conversation turned to what was happening next for me and the question comes from my good friend and fellow Mexican, Gaby, what’s your plan now? To which I answered, very truthfully, I don’t have one. She didn’t hide her surprise and told me that they can’t believe it because I’m always planning ahead.

In that moment I realized that indeed, for the first time in more than ten years, I have no plan whatsoever as to what I’m going to do with my life. Bad as this may sound, after the initial scare of I’m 36 years old and I don’t know what the fuck is going on and don’t think I ever will know, right now I realize that this little thing is exactly what has me so relaxed. For once, I’ve let go of expectations and wishes and I’m just going with the flow, not pushing myself to follow any plan.

There’s, what I consider and has remained in my memory since the first time I watched it, a beautiful moment in the movie Boyhood from the great Richard Linklater when the main character, Mason, is talking with his Dad about…well, life. I truly love this dialogue and what it embodies in its utter simplicity.

Mason: So what’s the point?
Dad: Of what?
Mason: I don’t know, any of this. Everything.
Dad: Everything? What’s the point? I mean, I sure as shit don’t know. Neither does anybody else, okay? We’re all just winging it, you know? The good news is you’re feeling stuff. And you’ve got to hold on to that.

At the end of the day, everything happens exactly as it should and it would be impossible to be any other way. If it should have been one way or the other, then it would have been like that. But of course, my usual attachments (to plans, people, places, ideas, etc.) make me resist the natural flow of life. A resistance that I often disguise as a challenge to be overcome, to the point that I don’t see it as resistance anymore.

Sometimes all it takes is slowing down, being patient, and noticing what I’m holding on to, or resisting against (and why) that is preventing me from living in harmony. No, I’m not saying it’s easy, takes work and, for me, it’s an everyday effort. But oh how great are the days when I’m in the flow, when everything works and moves together, when life feels fluid, functional, and easy.

After all, I can make a hundred plans and prepare for a thousand scenarios, but there’s only so much I can do, at a certain point, it’s all about letting go and realizing that the present is all there is.

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Another great thing about being ‘in the flow’ is that I’ve been enjoying things a lot more. My usual passions: reading, movies, music, and training, have been great lately.

Music-wise, life’s really good. There’s been a lot of great releases lately, some of which will be on my top 10 list of the year. Yes, I also write about that, you can find my CD reviews on the greatest hard rock and heavy metal website there is, SleazeRoxx.

This is what’s (mostly) currently in rotation while I do things (like writing this Blog post):

Epica – The Holographic Principle
Evergrey – The Storm Within
Löve Räzer – Rock N’ Roll Addiction (EP)
Sonata Arctica – The Ninth Hour
Opeth – Sorceress

BTW, I’m beyond stoked about seeing Epica perform tomorrow here in Toronto, they have become one of my main go-to bands over the last years. I’ve even been considering adding them to the bands I name when asked who my favorite of all time are, which (in case you were wondering) for many years have been: Dream Theater, Helloween, and Iron Maiden.

I’m also super happy reading a series of books called ‘The Witcher Cycle‘ from polish author Andrzej Sapkowski. I’m on book 4 of 7, and so far they are a true thing of beauty. You can check out my whole book shenanigans on GoodReads. Thanks for reading!

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Sword of Destiny (The Witcher, #2)Sword of Destiny by Andrzej Sapkowski
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Even better than the first! I almost went back to my review of ‘The Last Wish’ to change the score from 5 to 4 because believe me, ‘Sword of Destiny’ sets a new standard for the series. It’s a fantastic book with more short stories about the infamous Witcher, they’re grander, more complex, and obviously pave the way for much bigger things. I had such a great time reading it that when I finished immediately began the first full-length novel, and next book of the series, ‘Blood of Elves’.
I can’t talk about the original Polish but the prose for this translation by David French is simply magnificent, the dialogue among the characters makes you laugh sometimes and at others is quite poetic.
Now I know why (besides the game) the Witcher is so popular in the world of Fantasy. We’ll see how it goes but I’ll probably be reading the whole series back-to-back.

Read all my reviews on GoodReads

 

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